We are pleased to announce that through an unprecedented grassroots effort, we have reached 100 facebook fans, and, as our reward, have secured the following:
www.facebook.com/limecolony
WWWWooooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo!!!!!
Folks,
Someone recorded our little informal show on 6/20 and we present it to you now:
http://limecolony.com/6_20_09_party/
There’s a bit of wind noise, and, at times, it sounds as though there are 2 or 3 people in the audience. Don’t worry about that. Just listen to the rock music and live.
(obligatory picture follows)
If you were Colin’s neighbor, who would you be?
A) A chilean sea bass
B) That one skeevy perv who keeps the blinds closed all day
C) A completely different chilean sea bass
D) Boom Diddles McBaggersons
If you answered “A” or “C”, go eat. If you answered “B”, I already called the cops and there’s an Amber Alert pointing right to your apartment. If you answered “D”, you actually read the title of the post. Boom Diddles (working title) moved in recently. And let me tell you. DJ Diddles knows when it’s time to party. That time is 2002. Don’t know what to play at 8:30 A.M. Tuesday morning at a f ission-inducing decibel? Say hello to “Sandstorm” by Darude (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSYxT9GM0fQ). Worried what mood to set at that dinner with the mother-in-law? Fire up “Believe” by Cher, crank it to 11 and snap the knob off (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5xsiKBJGW4).
There’s only one way to get down with Baggy Bags. And that’s at Musical Hiroshima: Ground Zero.
Alright, so the hand has been tipped. Clubster-bag has moved in next door to me, and aside from being every bit the schwantz that his attire would suggest, the guy has an obsession with playing dance music at all hours of the day and night. And, by some tragic collision of coincidence and shoddy craftsmanship, the wall dividing our apartments suppresses virtually everything but the bass line. That oh so clever bass line rarely found outside of dance music. That bass line that says: “You can’t hit that 10,000 bpm 8th note bass drum enough.” And just when you think it may actually approach enough, guess what…
16th note bass drum shows up to impose aural waterboarding not seen this side of George Michael.
Never have so few danced so much to so little.
I’m no musical snob, but let’s be real here. Dance music belongs in one place, and one place only: The club you go to on Friday night because you told that one girl you love dance music. So you go, get plowed, and limp tragically around the dancefloor like a leper with parkinsons disease and a club foot. And what a perfect visual metaphor for the kind of poorly developed mess that this music invariably ends up being.
You want to dance? Put on Justin Timberlake.
You want to make your neighbors seriously consider slicing you to ribbons with the spool from a Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch tape? Put on trance music tomorrow morning at 7:30.
I dare you.
In the meantime, if you want to listen to some decent tunes… my esteemed colleague, Earlimus Kraminster the XIIth, will soon (if he has not already) be posting a recent recording that will damage your internal functions with joy in a way you previously thought the queso dip at Chili’s could. And with considerably fewer lower G.I. ramifications (No guarantees, recordings still in clinical trials. Listeners take full responsibility).
So if it’s there, check it out. If it isn’t, wait with bated breath. It will be there shortly.
Lime Colony is coming back full swing. There will be shows. There will be CDs.
There will be Boom Diddles McBaggersons.
I leave you with this final thought:
“Entertainment Tonight… ba-ba bah bah bha”
That crap is going to be stuck in your head ALL DAY.
Colin
You know when you get a birthday cake, how it has all those candles on it? Well, let it be heard: belly-hairs are not candles and therefore should not be set ablaze, even if it is your mother’s birthday. We wish Colin a quick and speedy recovery.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Gentle and beloved fans,
All is well! I realize most of the status updates of late have been something like, ‘We’re working on the album, seriously’, to which I respond: seriously. It’s the details. It is progressing.
Anyway, we are nearing the end of something called ‘proxy season’, during which 2/3 of the Lime Colony are actually improsoned. de facto. Tim seems to have been freed from his shackles (only to be replaced by other, more portable shackles) and it’s been reported that Colin is in the process of reclaiming his personal effects (consisting of an old quilt, a lizard mask, two cans of DEFY UV-Resistant Clear Wood Finish, a pair of tin-snips and several unmentionables) from the desk clerk at a non-descript minimum-security prison in Modesto.
We’re hoping to make a couple of changes in the near-future (good changes). I won’t tell you what they are because I’m chewing right now and don’t want to be rude. [Wait...hold one...just a second...] *ANOTHER BITE*.
So don’t jump off of the bridge - your life is worth more than you think. We can help you. Think of your family!
Beautiful weather, huh? We pity the fools who live outside the lesser Bay Area where temperatures can exceed 85 degrees. How do you do it?
Earl
Yes, it’s a little late, but that hasn’t stopped us from partying non-stop to celebrate the one-year anniversary of limecolony.com in its current format. How are we celebrating? Let me tell you. Earl celebrated by getting sick and having a doctor look in one of his ears. Tim celebrated by combing his hair in fun and interesting ways and growing his beard even longer. Colin celebrated by tattooing an exact replica of the website on his chest and back (not really), and staying really late at his job (really).
What will happen between now and the next birthday? It’s anyone’s guess!*
Hugs,
Lime Colony
*We’re going to release a new album.
Thanks to Chad and Ryan at Monkey Hate Gomes for the kind words and nuanced inclusion of an old Lime Colony stand-by* on their podcast premier.
And I’m not just thanking them because they happen to share an apartment with me. It really was very nice of them to include some Lime Colony samples. Way nicer than the time they ate all of my ice cream from Trader Joe’s without asking but then replaced it (but then ate the replacement ice cream (which still hurts to think about)).
Also, a quick update for those of you yearning for still more Lime Colony news: we’re working as often as we can on songs for our new album. If I had to estimate when the project will be complete, I’d say summer ‘09. But don’t let the wait get you down in the dumps! We should have a show or two before then, where you can get an early sampling of some of our newest songs.
K.I.T.,
Lime Colony
*Lime Colony. “Did Your Mom Hang Up When She Heard It Was You.” The Advantage Of Getting There First. Self-Released, 2008.
Through the wine-spills and cheese-stains, we’ll be playing a fortified, amplified, award-winning set. We apologize from the bottom of our crooked hearts for the impromptu notice. See our Upcoming Shows section for more info.
Lime Colony, CA 95688
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